Having Hard Conversations
What would you consider to be a hard conversation?
For some it is simply just asking for help. Others it could be telling someone you love them. Or even to let someone that you love, know you are unhappy or you are happy (If they are not)…it could be telling a co worker they did something incorrectly….all conversations have emotion behind it and the fear of having the conversation could put you in an un-useful emotion or the other person or people in an emotional state.
It really is all about the “Unknown” of how the conversation will go. How the other person will react or respond. The unknown is all around us in life and what we make up in our own mind or choose to believe in our own mind can put us in fear, worry or any number of un-useful emotions.
These stories created in the mind are seeded from what mood or energy you are in with in that moment. And the emotion could also be seeded from the amount of sleep you received or lack there of the night before, if you are nourished, happy, sad, or frustrated. Have you ever noticed that when you are happy it is harder to get frustrated. But when you are already frustrated, then tired and add another situation, no-one makes a good decision or conversationalist from this state.
In order to make sure you are not interacting with the world around you from an emotional state, you want to check in with yourself first, see if what you are thinking about aligns with the outcome?
For example, does your partner leaving dishes in the sink or clothes on the floor…does this have to do with the outcome of the love you have for them and the future you want to create with them?
or, does the rules that you have for yourself and others align with the outcome. We all can drive different ways to the same location. Does having things a certain way align with the outcome?
or, Are you in a “thought spiral” of fear, resentment or judgment? If this is happening, go back to the OUTCOME!
Once you have established your clear outcome (what you want out of the hard conversation) Just have the conversation. If you are in your head about it, the outcome will slowly get fogged with thoughts that are being made up out of un-useful emotion.
Some tips to change your emotional state:
1. Move your body
2. Blast music and sing if you like
3. Walk in nature
4. Watch something funny
5. Go back to happy memories in your mind about the person or topic.