When us as humans miss out on something, it puts us in what could reflect a grieving process of emotion. Denial, Anger, Bargaining and sadness. When this occurs, we as humans can end up in all kinds of funky behaviours of acting out, saying things we do not mean out of presumption of “others” thoughts. If we choose to stay in this grieving mood (emotion), and for however long we stay there or keep it on our mind, there is no movement. It is like holding on to a hot potato and choosing to do so.
Lets use the example of getting to the end of a 10 season Netflix series you just finished watching, this can give you the same feeling of grieving, missing more of, being curious, feeling lonely or just being in an emotional state. We feel like we are missing out on the rest of these people’s journeys, even though it is made up.
In real life we can make things up for them to be larger than what they are. We can think if we do not go to the party, we are letting people down or people will get mad, upset or even disappointed. When the truth is the majority of humans have sympathy and really do care. If a person is making you feel guilty, it is not about you. If it is you that is making YOU feel guilty, you are making things up and you are just in the emotions of the grieving process of missing out. It is not real.
What if you began to recognize when you were feeling denial, anger, bargaining or sadness. And what if when you recognized this you chose to distract yourself in a positive way like, walking, listening to music, dancing around, planning your next vacation, watch something funny….need I go on. It has to be something that you enjoy, and give yourself multiple options. And what if because you had options you were less in emotion and more doing what you want, feeling what you want and accomplishing what you want?
So how do you catch yourself in a missing out emotion and move to action?
- Does the thought you are having causing the emotional state align with your outcome? If not, refocus the thought to your outcome. And make this new thought the new story in your mind.
- Are you making something that is actually small…BIG. Bring yourself to a realistic SiZe..that makes sense for what is really happening. This is a choice
- Do something that you are good at, do something that feels good for you. Interact in your world in a fun or flirtatious way. The way we interact can change our state of mind.